bug

today started out as one of those sixty degrees in mid-february type days where the breezes actually smell warm and full of green. i walked most of the way to school in the semi-dark of six thirty and picked up a few things on the way to class- 2 liters of ginger ale, 2 liters of coke, a gallon of water, napkins. i already had plates and cups in my bag and i arrived a little more loaded down than i planned but it didn't feel too bad because of that warm and green and then there was the sunrise that followed me right up to the door of the building all orange and pink and pez colored. an anything could happen sort of day.

i dragged myself all the way up to the fourth floor and pulled one of the tables up in front of the board. the kids arrived, mostly on time (mostly because i've been giving these fantastic "on time" quizzes during the first ten minutes of class) and we began to read. edible bugs. we read about how folks are eating insects more these days partly for fashion and partly for the health benefits. we read about cultures in most other parts of the world where dining on bugs isn't considered freakish. we read a few little recipe suggestions. we talked a lot about culture and custom and how what a person likes has a lot more to do with how a person is raised than with what the liked thing might actually be. the bell rang for break and while the kids were milling around in the hall, i began to set up.

six boys brought in permission slips. i set out six plates, six cups. then came lollipops. apple with cricket. grape with cricket. cinnamon with cricket. whole crickets, of course. after that, four small black plates i began to pile up with food. mealworms flavored with something called "mexican spice". sour cream and onion crickets. salt and vinegar crickets. and then my favorite, bacon cheddar crickets. yes, bacon cheddar crickets. the six boys with permission slips came to the front of the room. the rest of the class crowded up close to the table. i handed out plates and cups of soda. one boy asked to go first. of course. he chose mealworms and i shook a few onto his plate. the other boys stepped forward tentatively and held out shaking black plates. i doled out worms or crickets as requested. there was much nervous giggling. there were demands from the crowd on the other side of the table. one boy held up his mealworm and was horrified to find that mealworms have tiny legs. deals were struck- "i'll do it if you will" type deals. the spectators squirmed and insisted loudly.

the first child put a mealworm in his mouth. his face shifted when he realized what i'd been telling them all along. bugs taste like potato chips. they weren't just not nasty. they were good. better than most of what they cram in their mouths daily. his courage spread and all six boys managed to down a few worms. when they all had the secret- that food is what tastes good- they grabbed for more. they dangled cricket legs from their lips. they sampled all the flavors. they opened their mouths to show chewed up mealworms to the stunned children who chose not to partake. they all talked at once. they couldn't look away. we cleaned up and the bell rang and class emptied. one of the six, a boy who ate quite a few of both mealworms and crickets, stood by himself in the middle of the room for a minute and looked over to where i was stacking plates. "did i really eat bugs, miss?" he asked, his voice far away. i assured him he had, and not just a few, either. his smile stretched so far across his face i worried his skin would shatter. he left the room with all his teeth glaring out the front of his mouth and his eyes glowing.

the second class came in and quite a few of them had visited with those who just left. there was nervous chatter from the start. no point getting to things right away. i made them sit down and read the first twenty minutes. there has never been such fidgety reading ever in the history of the world. those with permission slips found reasons to come up while i was resetting the table. "i can't find my book, miss." "i need a drink of water." "i think this room is very warm." i don't know what that earlier class told them, but it was good. they were scared to death. you know you have good kids when they will, as a group and by their own choice, lie to the next group coming in to help you create a mood.

one of the boys, the one you met earlier when he brought a knife into the school, lost is permission slip. he explained the situation to his mother in spanish, wrote his own permission slip in english and then got her to sign it. it read, in part, "my child can participate in the insect luncheon." i believe i might have mentioned that in spite of his obvious pain in the butt qualities, i adore this child. this class invited guests. a former classmate. one of our assistant principals. the kids expect me to eat bugs but what they really want is to see a "normal" adult do it. they beg the other teachers in class. they wheedle, bribe and threaten. it does no good. but when our assistant principal stopped by, they didn't even consider he might eat bugs. he certainly didn't want to, but i'd weaseled a promise from him in front of the kids the day before so he showed up. we gave him soda. we offered him a bug. and he ate it. right there in front of the kids. and then they knew they'd be able to do it. they couldn't be outdone by a normal adult.

so those with permission slips, again a group of six boys, held out black plates that rattled with fear. i am still not sure they know how hard they worked today. they went for the mealworms first. this group asked if they could keep the boxes the bugs arrived in. they wanted evidence of what they were doing. i handed out boxes to them and to a few of the more animated audience members. one little boy wanted to eat crickets but remembered from our reading that many people remove the heads, wings and legs. he wasn't sure what to do. he brought me a pile of crickets from the bacon cheddar plate and i took off heads, wings and legs (which i ate my own self) and then gave him bacon cheddar bodies which he devoured like popcorn. the children watching did their part with the goading and ooooooohing and cringing, but the bug eaters in this group seemed less aware of their audience. they were so fascinated with what they were doing and with how much they actually liked the taste of crickets and worms, they mostly just ate and talked to one another. they were astronauts who experienced things nobody else could understand so they turned away from the world and stood quietly, smiling, some with jagged legs hanging out of mouths, other with lollipop sticks resting on lips like thin cigarettes. they knew who they were and what they'd done.